Liberté, égalité, battage

Boeufenair here. Boeufenair doesn’t give a shit. Boeufenair has decided to change sailing laws. Only the mentally ill will be able to sail in boats as of 3pm today. This is a brilliant move from Boeufenair, he has outstripped even himself with this new legislation. Boeufenair is tired of his pathetic workforce taking time off from their duties to sail boats. The mentally ill generally sometimes do not work and so if they wish to sail boats it is no problem to Boeufenair, who is a master of Kojo Karate. Boeufenair sympathises with the plight of the insane and is also going to grant a national holiday in honour. On this day people unable to work because of their illness will be allowed back to work in any job they so choose. Boeufenair hopes that the insane will decide to take to the streets in humorous roles such as pawnbrowkers. After this Boeufenair will attach his favourite mentally disadvantaged person of the day to a 30ft pole and carry them around sticking out of his sunroof for the next few weeks. This will make the insane feel they have a sense of purpose in Etats Unis de Boeuf. Boeufenair is a champion of social policy. Boeufenair is to host a new gameshow on the BBC entitled 'Who Wants a Beating from Boeufenair?'. Contestants will be strapped into the hot seat as Boeufenair applies Greco-Roman wrestling moves using spanners, a mouldy cabbage and a football pump while Twat Tarrant asks stupid questions about his own saggy, disgusting head. Boeufenair is revolutionizing what his people watch and doesn't care if it wins him no new friends.