Le Monde - C'est pour Boeufenair! Il est un homme d'acier

Boeufenair here. During a recent ‘Night of the Big Sticks’ at a local boulangerie, Boeufenair found himself caught up in a minor fracas during which the boulanger resisted the thrashing being delivered by one of Boeufenair’s gigantic ‘Lauquais de Boeuf’ who was wielding a particularly large bâton. With a gall not witnessed by Boeufenair for many-a-moon the boulanger declared that his treatment was unfair and that the persecution of boulangers by Boeufenair was irrational. Staring down at this puny bakerman Boeufenair began to enter a period of thought. Boeufenair’s thoughts are much bigger than anybody else's and his brain is swift and detailed.. This use of his wonderful mind made Boeufenair question the moral grounding he has for choosing the weak and vulnerable as targets for his programmes of discipline. Boeufenair started to question the very foundations of his policy of rule, the fabric of the whole state was torn apart within the splendid intellect of Boeufenair. It had gone not without note, in recent times, that the activities of such events as ‘Bald Wednesday’ have not been providing Boeufenair with the kind of satisfaction they once did. You may ask ‘how can Boeufenair not be amused by the sight of David Bellamy being shorn of all his locks and then thrown into a big field while Boeufenair sits in a crudely made hut with a pair of binoculars, whispering at how the rare bald Bellamy only comes out every 3rd Wednesday of the month to sob and weep in a big field before going back into hiding in the wild?’ But Boeufenair tires of this type of shenanigan. Boeufenair wants recognition on the international stage. Boeufenair wants Banking Moon of the UN to play wrestling with him in the Palacé de Boeuf, and the man from France to congratulate Boeufenair on his impeccable command of the French language and fantastically sculpted left pectoral muscle. Boeufenair will be back soon to update you with news of his successes.