Boeufenair Doesn't Listen to 'The Man'

Boeufenair here. Today Boeufenair will make up more rules as he goes along. Boeufenair will impose all these hardliner rules upon the innocent civilians of your local town. Martial law has been declared by Boeufenair starting immediately. The first law Boeufenair is declaring is curfew, nobody is allowed indoors between the hours of 6pm and 8am, you must all go out onto the streets otherwise the mighty forces of the Garde de Boeuf will use Tazer technology to fuck you up. Boeufenair wants all houses evacuated at precisely 6pm today. Also, coughing is no longer allowed in public. Boeufenair finds coughing a disgusting habit and is going to put an abrupt end to this putrid human pastime which has been the source of 99% of all deaths. Think of the money Boeufenair will save on healthcare when coughing is no longer allowed, hospitals will empty and Doctors can be sacked from their practices and hired as something more useful such as hair farmers or town criers. Boeufenair is thinking outside every box going. Hospital buildings can be used as store-homes for stufffed animals. Boeufenair will teach taxidermy at schools to children from ages 6 and upwards, all animals that die can then be preserved as nature intended. No longer will little Benny cry when his pet Beluga gently passes away on the beach, instead he will be forced to stuff 'Cheap Willy' with hessian and asbestos whilst naked. This will take place in the centre of his local village, Boeufenair will then encourage his many subjects to hurl abuse and used tissues at the young as their humiliation brings a tear of joy to Boeufenair's traditionally ice cool exterior. Boeufenair is not ashamed to cry at his own works of brilliance.